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Monday, February 6th, 2012
6:42 pm - motto for 2012
fake it 'til you make it, baby

yeah :T

got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Sunday, February 5th, 2012
7:14 pm - it's been a while, huh?
HEY! yeah, I can't believe my last entry was in September. Well, actually, I made an entry last month, but it was too depressing, I pulled it down after a few hours. Re-reading that last entry, I still feel the same way. so I guess I'll just paraphrase.

happy 2012. i feel so old. why does it seem like the past years were better? Probably because I was younger, and I still felt I had the potential to do anything.

...but I really shouldn't complain, as I do have it better than many in this economy.

Questions of the day/year:

Why is it so hard to change something even when you know it needs to be changed?

Happiness is not a zero-sum game. I am responsible for my own happiness. I control my perspective that generates/perceives my happiness. And yet, why am I not happy? Do I (sub) consciously choose not to be?

All in all, 2011 was kind of a shitty year, personally. Actually, so was 2010. I've made some terrible choices, hurt people with my distance and avoidance (though both for my sake and theirs), and have not made much progress in my career or other aspects of my life. And unfortunately, much of this will inevitably spill into 2012. Unless I do something drastic.

Not sure if I should take the plunge. Though sometimes, I do wish I could just disappear and be done with this theatrical show instead.

As for my wishes to everyone else, happy 2012. I sincerely hope your year turns out memorable and wonderful.

got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011
10:05 pm - well shoot
I was about to make a new post, and I didn't realize I hadn't actually posted this public; I posted this private. ...like way back in March... but wow, I didn't realize it was so many months. So I'm just going to update and post this old one, and make another entry later.

Yeah seriously, I really need to update more....

I finished the trilogy called The Hunger Games. I actually finished the three in a week (started on a Friday at noon, and finished the third book the following Tuesday). Seriously, it's a great series. It's like Battle Royale in a sort of post-revolution/apocalyptic America and it's at the POV of a 16-year-old girl coming into age. It's crazy good!

Also finished the third book in the Game of Thrones series. Wow, so much goes on; I can't wait to finish the rest, and watch the series.

Of course-- doing more knitting. And uhm, this is a lot better than the shit I was posting before. Seriously, all the stuff I posted earlier was crap-tier.

knitting!Collapse )

got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Thursday, March 10th, 2011
8:20 pm - dmv test
I passed! :3

next is moving out... and then maybe getting a dog. :3

1 cow got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Monday, March 7th, 2011
7:50 pm
holy crap. it's already March.

Well! Just as a quick update, my DMV test is this Thursday. Yes yes, I am well aware I am in my mid-20's without a license, and in LA no less. But you weren't the one who swerved to miss killing a possum on the road making a U-Turn.

Life is pretty busy. Got three projects I'm working on at the ol' Daily Grind Mill, and I'm also back-up fireman for several people. With the commute, I really don't have much time on my hands other than for watching TV + knitting (saves time, and most TV isn't worth your full attention anyway) and playing games (mostly SSFIV and MVC3; which I am shit-tier and shittier at, respectively).

I really need to post some pics of my recent knitting endeavors though. I've gotten into a lot more complex patterns :3

Sometimes though, I feel they are the only things that I have accomplished in life....

and that makes me sad


got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011
11:42 pm - incomplete synopsis
Crap, I can't believe the last time I made an entry was in September.

WELL, Happy (belated) New Year! A shitload has happened, and I have pics to prove it. :p

But I guess as a quick run-down, took a trip to the east coast and San Jose, knitted a lot, had an awesome Christmas work party, and got into playing Super Street Fighter IV seriously.

Met and took pictures with Sally Ride, Chris Hu, Gamer Bee, Tokido, Daigo Umehara, and Skisonic... but not at the same venue, lol.

Got a merit raise this year (finally), and I may have a shot at getting into my intended career at this company! But that'll be at least 6 months from now.

Purchased periphs for RB3 and DJ Hero 2 for cheap, my first and very own Nerf gun (lol), some kick-ass boots, and some other random cyber Monday deals I probably shouldn't have but did anyway.

Hopefully this'll kick my ass into gear about updating. I'm currently in a huge cleaning phase, and proceeding to throw away and clean up the things I never had the balls to.

2011, here I come! Because I sincerely doubt you can do worse than 2010.

7 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Thursday, September 30th, 2010
10:24 pm - sometimes when you're stressed certain things are super funny
I'm waiting for the bus, and it's late. Then two buses come by; but only one stops to pick up the massive amount of people waiting.

I'm getting on, and though it's originally empty, it's extremely full now. I sit next to my friend, and I'm steamed that only one bus stops.

The other bus goes by, and it's totally empty! And I'm like, "Shit damn! Look at it, that other bus is empty as hell!"

and she just looks at me, and we just burst out laughing; "Oh wait, no; what am I saying, hell's not empty at all."

__________Later that bus ride_______________

me: Oh, so you've never shown me a picture of your husband. Do you have one?
her: I do, but it's not recent.
me: That's ok, do you have it on you? I want to see!
her: Sure, but... *flips her wallet and hands the pic of her family + the dog to me*
me: Ah! You're all wearing the same outfit! ...and you have a dog! Aw, what kind?
her: A german shepard and australian sheepdog mix. He's dead now though. Cancer.
me: Oh, I'm sorry.
me: And so that's your daughter, your son, and your husband!
her: Yup. They're all grown now, and my husband is a lot thinner now.
me: Ah, I do see the resemblance between you and your daughter. And your son too-- he looks more like you than your husband.
her: They do.
me: And the dog too.
her: Yes, he takes after me as well.
me: Why isn't your husband smiling?
her: Well, he didn't like the pose, and etc...

(some silence)

me: Oh right, so what's his name?
her: Boo.
me: *surprised* Boo?

(we crack up laughing SO BAD, my cheeks start to hurt)

her: *between laughs* Did you mean my husband?
me: *between laughs* Oh no, I actually wasn't, but I was surprised because I realized I should've asked for your husband's name first

got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Sunday, April 25th, 2010
10:44 pm - Things I better finally link to these before they stay as a firefox tab forever
How to be more lucky

The Happiness Project. It's a lot to wade through, so I actually like just checking her twitter for interesting articles, like 9 Paradoxes.

and also, I might be late to the party, but I stumbled on this one

A Chat with Your Mom

got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010
9:35 pm - another journey in knitting

So I've been knitting a lot lately. Work is... not to my taste, as always. I've been put on a major project that I'm not exactly sure how to deal with. I'm looking for leadership and instruction, and trying to keep my head above the water. And as a way to unwind, I knit and watch TV. I find that knitting makes me feel less unproductive when I'm watching the loads of TV I do every day.

Which btw, I <3 No Reservations by Anthony Bourdain.... all that traveling and eating... I WANT HIS JOB *salivates*

Anyway, it's all behind the cutCollapse )

7 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Sunday, February 14th, 2010
1:43 am - quick happy holidays
Happy Chinese New Year!

And I hope all y'all enjoy your persecuted-and-beheaded Saint day! I know I will, imma spending it all day in bed and occasionally staring at Nick (which btw, why am I surprised there's so much NickXEllis? I thought I learned by now the rules of slashi--holy shit what, there's HunterxSmoker stuff out there??).

6 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Monday, February 8th, 2010
12:14 am - L4D...
...and L4D2 has completely consumed my free time (well, most of it). Even my brother mentioned "seems like it's now routine-- when i get home, you're playing."

And if I'm sick of dying, I go and read articles on being a better fps player and just watching YTs of gameplay...

indeed, the road to improvement is hard

11 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
10:21 pm - irritability
you really don't realize how important something is until you lose it.


like regular bowel movements and the ability to sleep!

also, ignore the last entry (which is now private). i have no right to complain.
Friday, January 8th, 2010
11:47 pm
My brother recently bought some Japanese gum from a Famima!! that was closing, and he offered me some.

So we were both chewing some of the Peach, and all of a sudden I felt this incredible urge to cry.

I haven't had this gum since I was a kid. And somehow, it made me realize that growing up hasn't made me any happier. That I miss the time in my childhood life where everything was about enjoying the little things.

I told my brother this, to which he said, "Go write a song about it then." lawl

oh yeah. Happy 2010.

1 cow got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Monday, December 7th, 2009
12:16 am
Holy shit, I didn't realize my last entry was in effin October...!

Well, I guess it's mostly because nothing ever exciting really happens to me. Or at least I totally forget by the time I get on my bus and train for the ride home. I like to take a "deep cleansing nap" on the train.

Hrm, I didn't think it was long when I typed it, but I guess it kinda isCollapse )

16 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
10:55 pm - Capitalism-at-Work Day
I just bought this bass. Isn't she effing beautiful? Seriously, what a steal at $129.99 after rebate.

Always wanted a bass, but didn't think about it until my bro emailed me about stands being on sale at musiciansfriend. Jumped on it right away after seeing it. <3<3 I'm in total love right now. Probably should have waited a little before purchasing, but I don't think I'd regret buying this one.

Also bought this grab bag from burt's bees.....

And got a FREE PANTY voucher in the mail from Victoria Secret for the first time (FINALLY, bitches)!

Oh yeah, and one tangent. My brother was talking about some singer hitting really high notes, and so I had to YT a Coloratura for him. it's pretty amazing and really lol.

6 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Monday, September 28th, 2009
5:08 am
aaaaaah, friggin hell.

being angry at everything is stupidly unproductive.
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
11:15 pm - worst 5 minutes in a long time
first few seconds were uncomfortable. I heard a loud splat, and thought it was a drop water that got in my right eye. I rubbed a bit, and I thought I had it under control.

and then it dawned on me that it was a bug. wriggling in. my. eye.

Previously, it was Defcon 50. Now it's Defcon 1. Shit shit shit shit shit holy shit

I'm panicking-- I don't have a mirror, lost my eyedrops, and don't even have water. My bus-pool friend confirms that it's a fairly large black spot in the bottom of my eye.

I'm frantically trying to calculate the best course of action. Walk back to the office, use the restroom and be late for my bus? Keep on going and hope I rub it out?

Being the shrewd woman that I am, I refused to get home half an hour later. So I keep on trucking, rubbing every part of my eye until it's excruciatingly dry.

and then, tada! After 5 minutes, it's finally out!

So yes! I will now be carrying a mirror, water, and find my eyedrops.

4 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
9:07 pm - D:
ever since I got this award at work ($175 for helping this department on a project!) I've been buying all. this. shit.

I figured, 'Oh, I should treat myself to something...'

which is then a slippery slope from there. I haven't been keeping up with e-mails or LJ because I've been shopping.

"I've always wanted this since ____"
"This would be a great time to buy gifts"
"Why, Christmas is just around the corner"

I don't know how to make it stop, i just keep on making excuses. DDDDD:
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
7:59 pm - DDDDDD:
there's this old retired guy living in El Segundo, and he has this really really cute cute dog named Buddy

pictures of Buddy! and his pervy ownerCollapse )

We see him all the time walking his dog, or watering his lawn, but it wasn't until today did he actually strike a long conversation with us. and it went something like this.

Him: "So do you girls live somewhere around here?"
8: "Ah yeah, just around here."
me: "Actually, we work just down over there."

Him: "Oh, so have you seen this other Chinese immigrant girl walking around?"
us: "No, not really."
Him: "Actually, it was one of the neighbors who actually brought her over here from China; it's terrible, he treats her like a *slave*."

I shoot a quick, "Is he serious?" glance at 8.

Him cont: *looks at 8* "Do you know anything about Visas? Can she stay for more than 3 months?"
8: "Sorry, you'll have to ask someone else about Visas. I'm not very sure."
Him: "I'm divorced, and it's just Buddy and me, and the dog is just boring. If she were staying with me, I wouldn't let her be a slave; I like cleaning and doing housework."

We're in total silence, it's awkward.

Him: *turns to me* "You're Chinese, aren't you?"
Me: "Uhm, yes, I am."
Him: "Well, when you turn 18 or 20, you come let me know."

Us: "...uh, nice talking to you! See you!"


13 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

Monday, July 27th, 2009
10:14 pm - my mid-year resolutions
1) Stop being passive-aggressive, it wastes time and energy

2) Look on the bright side of things, or you'll just waste time focusing on the things that don't matter. Don't dwell on the negative unless it'll produce value-added results.

3) Have more confidence! You're responsible for your own actions. Act like you're taking charge of yourself. If you don't have that, who's going to respect you?

4) Nobody has the right to make you feel like shit (unless you're an irrational, amoral sack full of it)

5) Practice more guitar

6) Manage your time better, and get at least 8 hours of sleep a weeknight. Few things are more important than your health.

7) Commit to the assignment. Even if you hate it, focus until the very end. It shows in your work ethic-- if it's not worth your attention, it's not worth doing at all. Start strong, and drive it fucking home.

8) Do your best and learn.

oh yeah, and I guess

9) have fun


10) be happy

[edit: bonus 11) haul my ass online more...though I guess it's more of a 9b) than an 11)]

19 cows got some beef with me? made by Bas van der Horstgot some beef with me?

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